Archive for November, 2005

Hope in Disillusionment

I am disillusioned with the Christian subculture, this is true. But I don’t think I’ve given up hope, especially in regards to music. Do I think the CCM industry will ever change for the better? No, I think it has a horrible model. But the musicians themselves might not get trapped into “good little Christian singer” models.

Time and again, the people that I find consistently being real in music, expressing faith and struggles and challenges and reality are the singer/songwriters.

It’s been awhile since I listened to Chris Rice, but I just hopped on iTunes and found someone with a few of his cd’s. Along with the poignant Untitled Hymn [Come to Jesus], his cd “Run the Earth Watch the Sky” contains this song called Me and Becky, and I feel it’s lyrics are exactly one of the reasons I’ve come to this place, in regards to Christianity and “its'” subculture.

Becky has a house on Abundant Life Blvd.
A good name, good family, and butterflies in her yard
Becky loves Jesus and really wants to make Him proud
She tears up in church and she sings her harmonies loud
She’s got a Bible by the bed, a prayer journal, and a fish on the car
She makes sure to bow her head and give thanks in every restaurant
But is that enough?

C’mon Becky, let’s go for a ride
If I’m driving too fast then I apologize
But there’s a world out there that we left behind
Full of souls as important as yours and mine
Looks like a reckless road, and a sacrifice
And I’m crazy scared it may cost our lives
But then I remember Jesus died
So c’mon Becky
Let’s go for a ride

I’m rolling up to Becky’s house on my Sunday drive
I have to laugh to myself ‘cause it looks exactly like mine
I smile and wave at all the happy people strolling by
We’ve got the same walk, same talk, and the same sparkle in our eyes
‘Cause we’re thankful for the blessings, but maybe we could lay ’em aside


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Stop Feeding Us Shallow Crap

I have ranted numerous times about my disillusioned-ness regarding the Christian Subculture.

Tonight I figured out a major aspect of my frustrations. Here’s hoping I’m able to translate my clear thoughts into clear words.

Why am I so cynical about Christianity? I ask myself this all the time. Why do I hate things that are associated with the faith I hold so strongly?

The majority of what I see in Christian bookstores seems to undermine faith itself. I don’t make that statement lightly.

If getting my spiritual life on track is diagnosable in 10 questions, and there are 5 easy steps to getting marriage right and solving problems and ministering to others, then why isn’t the Bible written like that?

If life is good when I become a Christian and praise is all that ever comes out of my mouth, and it’s just happy happy joy joy, then how how horrible of a Christian am I? What am I doing wrong, that life is so hard?

In truth Christianity is The Answer because to me, it is simultaneously Universal and Personal. God doesn’t lay out the perfect life in His Word, He lays out the solution for mankind, and then provides a helper for the daily struggles.

His Word is not condensible into easy steps to an easy life where you have happy feelings all the time. God’s Word has a depth unimaginable by our minds, a richness that invites us to study it, to dwell on it, to soak it in.

Christian Devotions and Christian Books that fill the shelves of Christian Bookstores take away from this. We get one side, we get explanations but not experience. We are no closer to God, we are closer to how God impacted the author at the time of his writing [the modern book].

These books lead to undermining the faith because they provide an alternative to the Bible, by telling us what the Bible means. Christian Bookstores are becoming like the Roman Catholic Clergy pre-reformation: the “divine” messengers that explain what God’s word means.

But we don’t need that. The commands of the Bible do not require great studying to understand. They do require time to read and build a proper picture of what God desires for our lives, but it is not necessary to know Greek and Hebrew to know that God loves me, Christ Died for me, and the greatest two commands in my life are loving God and loving my neighbor.

I am tired of shallow substitutions that sugarcoat or simplify. I am tired of bad music that is disconnected from the struggles that make up daily life. I don’t want to read about how my life can be better, or simple ways to loving God more. I want to be challenged to think, challenged to change, challenged to live in a way that evidences I trust God.

There is so much Christianity in Christian Bookstores, that I just never feel Christ in them.

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Once again I attempt to gather my thoughts

Isn’t it redundant to be an existentialist Christian?

I have friends who convince me I should. But why? Why should I dedicate my life to a certain task in order to provide it meaning, when life intrinsically has meaning?


Someone here at the campus doesn’t listen to music or watch movies unless they see a blatant Christian worldview.

I say way to inbreed your thought. Way to confirm what you know. What to make yourself feel prideful.

I’m of the opposite mindset. I dislike most stuff with blatant Christian worldviews or messages. Pisses me off in general. Makes me think about how shallow the majority of people who claim to hold my belief are. How disconnected faith seems to be from life.

I’d rather have to sift through convincing counter-arguments or sly messages, to continually be asking what is true?. I don’t due this 100% of the time, but I prefer it.


I want to make a movie. But I want a camera. I want to be able to just take a camera out, and start filming. And start piecing together films, deciding what works and moves me and what doesn’t. I feel limited and tied down without a camera. I have no creative outlet.


I’m not who you think I am. I won’t be who you want me to be most of the time. Except that I will because I am weak-willed and you know that.

Hey but on the flip-side, I’m not really who I want to be.


I wonder if anyone still has this RSS feed? Or if they ever visit this site anymore… if not then it becomes a nice place to vent.

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